Post by Revy on Mar 28, 2020 15:54:26 GMT
(In a bar in Los Angeles, AC/DC's "It's a Long Way to the Top" is playing in the background as the Lethal Specialist Championship is on a bar counter with 8 empty pints next to it. A hand falls on top of it as Revy pulls in the title closer to her while keeping her head down. She rests and sleeps on it while mumbling some things. She lifelessly lifts her head up and sits up straight and signals for one more drink. The bartender slide over another glass and Revy proceeds to guzzle it up, before slamming the glass on top of the counter and letting out a sigh.)
Fuck…. You… Kylie.
Thinks she is cute and all just because she has an intelligible accent and wearing a skirt. But let me tell you something. Bitch, I’d be like 100x more adorable in a skirt and talking all like, “bless me bagpipes” and “Aw Phooey!” That’s right. I’ve seen enough Duck Tales that I can do the exact same shit you can do, but better. “Ooh, look at me, I’m Scottish, fella. I got a drinking problem. Watch me blow into this here stick and make noise too.”
You think I’m gonna be scared just because this is a “Scottish Death Match” and you happen to be Scottish? Well, if this was a “Does Not Wish to Self-Identify” on the check box Death Match, you’d probably be worried. But not I, no. See, race has never been an issue to me. I hate indiscriminately, and when I say this, know that I mean it…. I hate you.. I despise you. Week after week, constantly coming for my neck like I’m the bloody English and your Mel Gibson. But nah nah nah, You see, I should be Mel Gibson, not you. I should be the one that is saying stupid shit. I should be the one taking you to the pub and beating you with chairs. It is my right as the Lethal Specialist Champion, but then you gotta be “taking initiative” and killing my vibe as champ.
I’mma go into Lethal Heart as Champ, and I’m gonna walk away as champ. Can’t say I’ve been in many deathmatches, but apparently you love em, and I’m sure you are gonna try to get creative and shit, but I’m gonna need you and everyone else to set their expectations really low. Because my knowledge of Scottish culture is quite limited and you guys are all probably gonna be expecting a lot of booze, some bagpipes, haggis, and … sheep fucking. But I see a foreign object, and I’m just gonna beat you with it, Monroe. Sound about right? I don’t need you all to give me flack that I’m not culturally appropriating y’all people. This is a Death Match first and a Scottish match second.
Despite what I said about I gonna out Scottish you, Kylie, I’m gonna out Death you first. I don’t know what that means, but you oughtha know what that means Little Ms. Deathmatch. If that is your real name! HUH!! HUH!! Prove it. SHUD UP!! I know it’s Monroe. I’m drunk, leave me alone! I’m not drinking because I’m worried or nuthin. I’m training for Lethal Heart, because if my liver can take this much punishment, then my body can to.
What the fuck you mean that don’t make any sense?! Don’t you know the Scots get their super powers from alcohol? Well, time to show Kylie some good ole American efficiency. This tank here, (points to a part of her body that clearly isn’t where the liver is) is built off the American Dream, Freedom, and the second amendment. You gonna git these arms, and I sure as hell ain’t gonna let you take that, my buzz, and my title in that specific order, away from me.
Fun and Games is over. Enough with rubbing in my face with how Scottish you are. It’s time for me to do as Americans do, and make this all about me again. Maybe I’ll fight and I’ll die. But I sure as hell ain’t gonna run. You may take my life, but you will never take…...MY LETHAL SPECIALIST CHAMPIONSHIP BEEEEEEEEEEEEELT!
Braveheart, The movie was aight. 6/10. This has been my review of the film. Thank you, and G’d Night.
Kylie, I'll see you at Lethal Hearts, gurl.
Fuck…. You… Kylie.
Thinks she is cute and all just because she has an intelligible accent and wearing a skirt. But let me tell you something. Bitch, I’d be like 100x more adorable in a skirt and talking all like, “bless me bagpipes” and “Aw Phooey!” That’s right. I’ve seen enough Duck Tales that I can do the exact same shit you can do, but better. “Ooh, look at me, I’m Scottish, fella. I got a drinking problem. Watch me blow into this here stick and make noise too.”
You think I’m gonna be scared just because this is a “Scottish Death Match” and you happen to be Scottish? Well, if this was a “Does Not Wish to Self-Identify” on the check box Death Match, you’d probably be worried. But not I, no. See, race has never been an issue to me. I hate indiscriminately, and when I say this, know that I mean it…. I hate you.. I despise you. Week after week, constantly coming for my neck like I’m the bloody English and your Mel Gibson. But nah nah nah, You see, I should be Mel Gibson, not you. I should be the one that is saying stupid shit. I should be the one taking you to the pub and beating you with chairs. It is my right as the Lethal Specialist Champion, but then you gotta be “taking initiative” and killing my vibe as champ.
I’mma go into Lethal Heart as Champ, and I’m gonna walk away as champ. Can’t say I’ve been in many deathmatches, but apparently you love em, and I’m sure you are gonna try to get creative and shit, but I’m gonna need you and everyone else to set their expectations really low. Because my knowledge of Scottish culture is quite limited and you guys are all probably gonna be expecting a lot of booze, some bagpipes, haggis, and … sheep fucking. But I see a foreign object, and I’m just gonna beat you with it, Monroe. Sound about right? I don’t need you all to give me flack that I’m not culturally appropriating y’all people. This is a Death Match first and a Scottish match second.
Despite what I said about I gonna out Scottish you, Kylie, I’m gonna out Death you first. I don’t know what that means, but you oughtha know what that means Little Ms. Deathmatch. If that is your real name! HUH!! HUH!! Prove it. SHUD UP!! I know it’s Monroe. I’m drunk, leave me alone! I’m not drinking because I’m worried or nuthin. I’m training for Lethal Heart, because if my liver can take this much punishment, then my body can to.
What the fuck you mean that don’t make any sense?! Don’t you know the Scots get their super powers from alcohol? Well, time to show Kylie some good ole American efficiency. This tank here, (points to a part of her body that clearly isn’t where the liver is) is built off the American Dream, Freedom, and the second amendment. You gonna git these arms, and I sure as hell ain’t gonna let you take that, my buzz, and my title in that specific order, away from me.
Fun and Games is over. Enough with rubbing in my face with how Scottish you are. It’s time for me to do as Americans do, and make this all about me again. Maybe I’ll fight and I’ll die. But I sure as hell ain’t gonna run. You may take my life, but you will never take…...MY LETHAL SPECIALIST CHAMPIONSHIP BEEEEEEEEEEEEELT!
Braveheart, The movie was aight. 6/10. This has been my review of the film. Thank you, and G’d Night.
Kylie, I'll see you at Lethal Hearts, gurl.